We have been having some really good days lately. Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and all hell break loose. She has been on Invega for a few weeks and right now it seems to be working. She has missed a couple of doses and by mid afternoon we can tell, she starts to get real agitated at everything and everybody.
She goes to her probation officer next week and as long as she is good between now and then she should be released from it. It has been a long hard year and I hope she has really learned from it. Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. I am trying real hard to let go but sometimes its just hard. I hate this disease and I hate that my child has it but I know that we arent given anything that we cant handle.
I'm glad you are writing and I hope you'll continue. You need support and love just as much as your children do. I expect it's difficult enough to be a good mom. How much harder it must be to be a great mom when bipolar is involved. Yet you are doing it!
ReplyDeleteI value so much reading what you and other parents are writing about their bipolar children for I am a bipolar child (who is pushing 40). Reading about your struggles and pain helps me keep myself accountable for my actions and my reactions. While it's true that we cannot always control our moods, we are still responsible for the things we can manage. It took me years to learn this and I'm still learning but life is so much better than it was at 14.
Remember this: it can get better. With the great support system you are offering, Emily can work through this and have a life. It won't be easy - being well is a tough choice and there are always setbacks - but I believe with all my heart it's possible. I believe in the power of humanity when we let our love and compassion guide us.
Be well and please keep in touch!