Friday, October 22, 2010

Latest update

We have been having some really good days lately. Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and all hell break loose. She has been on Invega for a few weeks and right now it seems to be working. She has missed a couple of doses and by mid afternoon we can tell, she starts to get real agitated at everything and everybody.

She goes to her probation officer next week and as long as she is good between now and then she should be released from it. It has been a long hard year and I hope she has really learned from it. Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. I am trying real hard to let go but sometimes its just hard. I hate this disease and I hate that my child has it but I know that we arent given anything that we cant handle.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Good day yesterday

Yesterday was my birthday and usually birthdays are a source of contention at our house with Emily. She feels like all the attention should be on her. There have been many a ruined day if it was not what she wanted. David and I were going to go out to eat by ourselves but since we usually go out as a family on birthdays, the girls protested at that. I decided for us to go to Bonanza to eat and dreading the usual fights and bad mood from Emily, she was in a good mood for once. We enjoyed the evening out and had a great time.

I am also putting in a call to her psych doc. She has been on Geodon for the last 3 months and lately it has not been working. She has been agressive with her sister like before and now she is hallucinating again. Now she has seen a man in our yard when it was just her and Landon.  She also saw someone walking in the cornfield across the road. We have a dog outside that would let us know if anyone was there and he never saw anything.  When she was having a really bad psychotic break a couple of years ago, she claimed there was a  woman in her mirror, telling her to do awful things to us. It got to the point we had to take all mirrors out of the house so she couldnt see the face anymore. After we moved from that house, she never mentioned that face again. Hopefully soon we can get relief.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

New chapter in our lives

I am a licensed hairstylist and have been one for many years. I have been working for the last 18 months in the salon in Walmart, working late nights and weekends. Since school has started back, we have discovered that Emily has not been taking her Geodon daily. She has been taking her Trileptal but not her Geodon. She has really started becoming very agressive and just plain mean to everyone especially to me and her sister. Last Saturday, I got off work early and went home and found Landons daddy here at the house. Everyone but her and Landon was gone. He is not supposed to be here at all. I do not want him at my house when I am here and certainly not when Im gone. After the fight that ensued, I decided to quit my job and start working at a private salon. My husband and I sat down and decided it would be in the childrens best interest for me to quit and do that. Well, Monday after we decided that, I got a phone call from a nursing home I had applied at last month wanting to know if I was still interested in the job. I went and talked to them and decided to take the job. Monday, I start my new job. There is no nights or weekends and I will be through by 3 or 4 the days I work. Honestly, God does know what he is doing.

Monday, July 19, 2010

school starting back soon

We just got in from an informational session on a new program starting in our school district that will help teen mothers. I think it is really going to really help her next year as there will not be large classes and there will only be 20 students in the program. She is actually getting excited about it so that will help.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Emily

Emily is having a good day today. She seems to have some of her energy back and is actually smiling today. She had a good nights sleep last night. She went to bed by 10:00 last night and slept all night except for waking to feed Landon around 4 this morning.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Today is not so good

This morning Emily woke up feeling really depressed and not wanting to do anything. She didn't want to even take care of Landon even though she knows she has too. It has really bothered me today how it has been. She hasn't been sleeping well lately and I just dont know if it is because its summer and this is a worse time for her or if her meds are doing it to her. Her mania has been brought down to a minimum lately even though she really gets upset if I tell her NO. She hasn't had many total rages where she was destroying things in a while. I am going to enjoy that while I can.

I took them to the mall tonight and let them eat out there. She has been stuck in the house for a few days so I thought that might make her feel better and it did for a bit. She really didn't want me to leave her and she did get upset when I wanted her to just go with Landon, I wanted to sit and read in Barnes and Noble for a bit.

Ups and Down

I am starting this blog as a way of journaling my feelings of dealing with a child who has Bipolar Disorder.
I have been having a rough time lately and I need to let go of things.